I am having a difficult time putting into words what I am thinking and feeling right now. I am excited, anxious, and ever mindful of the clock. I tend to be a night person, an all night person…if left to my own devices, and now I am reluctant to sleep because I keep reading, and thinking, and clicking. There is so much to learn, so much I want to do…yet it is already November!!!
Let me take a step back and share a little more about what is going on in my personal life as the physical disruptions in it are reflective of the thoughtful disruptions and refocusing I am experiencing in my professional/learning life. To teach well, I believe we need to see the whole child so here you will see more of me.
– This is the first year in 13 that I have not been in the classroom. I have dedicated this year to learning, reading, and reflecting. Thanks to my school board and teacher’s association I have received some funding to assist in having such a year!
-I moved from my current city to the city of my origin in order to complete my studies and spend more time with my parents. While I am managing okay, there is a different mindset and educational lingo here that I hadn’t noticed before especially when one speaks about privatization! Additionally, while I have located the closest Tim Horton’s (a definite NEED) I still don’t know where to take my dry cleaning!!
-Then my parents have decided to downsize and move quite suddenly. This has been truly disruptive in a way that I could not have predicted. The home they are selling is the one I grew up, the ‘home’ I would run to when things would go wrong, or celebrations occur. This is the house the built the year I was born Now, home is being shifted, changed and will not be the same.
In the way, my ideas of HOME SWEET HOME are being analyzed and disrupted there is a parallel here to traditional modes of teaching and learning. My parents have decided to downsize to such an extent that pets are not welcome in their new “condo” and no guest beds are being set up. I never thought I would need to stay in a hotel to go home! Truthfully, as in many families, my perception of home and the Campbell’s Soup Family of my distorted memory never really existed. Realistically, the idealistic images of childhood that both my sister and I giggle about are not tied to our house. I know that I can take the best of what I learned to move forward. Now, at this stage, I know neither my sister will truly be able to go home again.
Now, changing/shifting and packing/moving are some of my least favourite activities….but through them I continue to learn and grow. I have been living out of a suitcase since March 2010 and will for a few more weeks as it turns out. I sold my house in my current city to move home. In the midst of that decision, I foolishly bought a summer home, and as a result of its location can’t get internet access so I have been living at my parent’s house. Who knew that getting internet access in rural Saskatchewan was so difficult!! I took that aspect for granted…and am now listing that house!!! So, while change seems to be the theme for 2010, I continue to persevere.
Every cloud often come with a silver lining if only we take off our blinders. This is true for me in that my childhood house to my new home mirrors traditional learning to 21st century learners. I am soon to be married and will have the opportunity to establish a new home with husband. This new home/marriage is exciting and something I want to pursue like changes to my teaching practices and learning but I sometimes feel like, “I have no idea what I am doing” as I haven’t had a dress rehearsal!
-I don’t want to fail….what if my husband gets sick of me or I never become an agent of change in my school and board that I long to be?
-While fear is a natural part of life, becoming bound by fear will not move me forward personally or professionally. I long to find the layers, to get my students to think critically and to engage them in powerful learning opportunities.
-Using drama as a medium for learning is great because play, participation, performance, simulation, etc. are all elements of Drama class and theatre arts productions. Risk, collaboration, and cooperation are integral to the program. Creating authentic and believable characters is a critical aspect in Drama class and so many conversations regarding authenticity and transparency occur frequently in my classroom. This readily opens up the conversation for reflection and self-awareness…thus as I am creating myself and so are my students!!
Who am I? Who do I want to be? Thankfully, I don’t need all the answers yet, because I thought I did, and now it has all been turned upside down.